dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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