I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
