Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Randomize