i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize