I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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