Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
