I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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