Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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