And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
