The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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