Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
