I'm drive I can fine osifer
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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