Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
