Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
