watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Randomize
