i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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