There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
My feet surprised me
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize