We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
