i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
