I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
