lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
