He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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