I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Randomize
