Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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