i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
