I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
