Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Randomize
