There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Sext me about skeletons
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
