You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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