So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
