im drinking this country out of the recession.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
