my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Randomize
