my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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