im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
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