He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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