STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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