ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
