my sisters under your porch take her home
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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