are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
