If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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