I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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