I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I would ride that face into the sunset
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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