I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
