he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize