exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
This is the high leading the old right now
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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