May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Randomize
