I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize