he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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