I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
