honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
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