I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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