Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
