I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
My bed smells like the plague
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
