walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
