come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
