New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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