We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
