No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
