i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Randomize
