we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
