afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
