I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
