remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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